I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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