are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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