She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
