on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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