I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
