Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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