Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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