I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Randomize
