An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
