Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I want a musical about memes.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
