I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize
