my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
