Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize