You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
