hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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