butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Randomize
