Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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