Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
