Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
