dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I party with great urgency now.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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