Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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