so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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