i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Randomize
