That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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