He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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