It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
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