1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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