So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
Randomize
