I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
