She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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