I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
