I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
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