she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
