I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
