So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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