Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
