My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize
