If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
