you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
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