how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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