between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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