Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize