At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Randomize
