Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I just want nice things and good sex
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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