That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
