Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
