Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Randomize
