he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
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