is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
