next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
