singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize