I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Randomize
