I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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