How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
