Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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