i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Randomize
