If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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