we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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