the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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