We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Randomize
