so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
