are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
My vagina is very pro this idea
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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