hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
You need Xanax blowdarts
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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