There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Randomize
