Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
